Orders Family Update!

Alas it has been too long since I've written! But I have an update now, which I will speedily try to type out before my sweet baby girl awakens from her nap.

Audra is three months old now! She is an absolutely wonderful baby. Audra smiles and giggles all day long, and she gets stronger and smarter with every minute that passes. I wish I could enjoy every second as much as I want to with her, she is growing so quickly. It feels like we brought her home yesterday! She has made my life more beautiful and full of meaning. I wish we were going to have five of her. She is so wonderful! She is learning to roll over by herself. She did it today unassisted but it took her a bit of effort and she wore herself out rolling over and then trying to crawl. She's got the "creeping" part down, or better known as belly scooting lol. Tummy time is her favorite and she squeals every time she is put on her tummy. When the dogs play fight she laughs will a big full belly laugh... God has blessed us with such a joyful baby!

Joe is currently in his new position at 171st. It's a lot of work, or as he calls it, a "mess". He'll be glad when we're leaving for Alaska. He sees Alaska as a new exciting adventure and I can't blame him. It's going to be a neat duty station to be at... downside is that he'll deploy from there. He's fully enjoying and taking time to be as family involved as he possibly can, so we're focusing on that now!

As for me, I've been accepted in the University of Alaska's College of Psychology, and I'm so excited. I start September 2nd on Distance learning Courses, because I've only got Psych courses left to take; however, UAF requires transfer students have 30 hours to graduate and I only need like 20 so I figured I'll start online and be a stay at home mama with Audra. Give her a good first year before day care :) Breastfeeding her is going great, I couldn't be more happy with the bond that it has given us and Audra is growing like a weed. We're starting cloth diapering this week as well and that is going terrific. Great for the environment and great for Audra's little sensitive skin.

That's all for now!

In my daughter's eyes...

I am so in love with my little girl. She's my whole world and I cannot imagine life without her. It's like I was searching for a purpose my whole life and the moment I heard her cry, everything became clear: she is my reason for living.

Audra Marie

The day my daughter was born was the most hectic, traumatic, ecstatic day of my life. Saturday, May 22nd my husband and I decide to head to the commissary to do a little bit of grocery shopping before my mom arrived that afternoon (she was picking my brother up from military school about 40 minutes away).

While walking around the commissary I could feel my braxton hicks contractions getting more intense, I was fine until dinner when I felt my first very real contraction. I realized somewhere inside of me that this baby was coming and soon. It was soon thereafter that I started pretty active contractions. They ranged from 5 to 10 minutes apart at 1 minute lengths. However, I was determined not to go into the hospital until they were either 3 minutes apart or my water broke- whichever came first!

My mom and husband watched me pace and do exercises on my birth ball, so I decided to take a hot bath and try to get some sleep (like our birthing class instructor had instructed us to do since labor can be long and exhausting process). I relaxed a little and tried to use the breathing techniques we'd learned... Joe and my mom were so supportive and helpful throughout the entire thing.

I woke up seriously uncomfortable around 6am on Sunday morning. I tried to take another bath and changed into some comfy clothes. I woke Joe up and told him we were going to have to leave soon because I was feeling more and more anxious, I knew I was getting into active labor.

We got to the hospital around 9am and they checked me in, I don't think the nurses thought I was in active labor because of how calm and collected I was. I gave them my information and they put us into a room... and here's where I started to unravel mentally a little bit. I realized when they put us into our room that is was room 3403, and it was Sunday May 23rd. I HATE odd numbers. I despise them. For this reason, I had talked my husband into getting married a whole two days later than we had planned. For this reason, I don't turn the volume up to an odd number on the tv. And the whole time I was pregnant I begged God not to have her born on an odd day. But here we were, May 23, 9am, in room 3403. PERFECT.

Our nurse, a woman named Jackie who was apparently the spokesperson for epidurals (UGH), checked my cervix and said I was 4 cm. We were going to wait and see if I got to 5 cm before they admitted me and decided I was really going to have a baby that day. I knew I was, I just had to wait for them to hop on board.

Joe kept everyone updated on the phone and I can't remember when but my mom came in to see me at some point. Joe fed me ice chips and gave me chapstick when I needed it, as I went through all the breathing I had to to get through contractions. To be honest they weren't all that bad, I have no idea why women use pain medication for this. It's how I knew she was coming, it's how I knew things were ok. It's not a bad pain it's like your body is preparing for something, like growing pains. Not bad at all, just uncomfortable.

At 11am she checked me again and I was 5 cm, I was admitted and started on IV fluids. She called the Dr. on call, which happened to NOT be my Dr. so I started to freak again mentally. But Joe got me back on track, we were gonna do this. Pain med free, and naturally. I could feel Audra moving and her heart rate was a wonderfully healthy 140 bpm the entire time.

Things went on business as usual, except for the occasional nurse trying to push pain meds down my throat. It was so annoying, I about lost my cool but I was focused elswhere and in retrospect, I should've been a jerk about it because they never left me alone.

Sometime in the afternoon, after mowing his lawn (yes I'm being serious), Dr._____ came in to check on me. He checked my cervix and got this look on his face. He said I was only 5 1/2 cm and he was worried that I hadn't progressed in all that time. My mom was furious I could tell, as he started to explain that Audra hadn't dropped at all. She was no where near my pelvis and he was concerned that if he broke my water it could endanger me or the baby. It made way for a prolapsed cord or worse, distress my heart or Audra's.

Joe and I were in panic mode at that point and my labor slowed. For those who don't know, stress can actually stop your labor and that is where the term False Labor comes from. Women get to the hospital, get stressed, and go home.

Anyways, as the conversation got more and more in depth I looked to Joe for help. I could tell he was frightened by all this. We had planned so hard and looked forward to a natural birth, but we had always said that anything happened to endanger either me or Audra and we could negotiate.

The Dr. recommended an emergency c-section in order to prevent any complications. Joe and I agreed reluctantly because we just decided on a healthy baby instead of a "good birthing experience". It was really hard for me to let go of, and still is sensitive for me. But I have a healthy baby girl and that's all that matters.

After we agreed on the C section, millions of people it seemed like rolled into our room. A nurse anesthetist, an Anesthesiologist, more nurses, and the Dr. at different times. I got some meds and extra fluids. The meds were to stop my contractions and I had to sign some paperwork. The meds made me shake quite a bit and then on top of that I was nervous as all get out. I was crying a little bit and Joe tried to soothe me as much as he could, but I was scared. I've never had any surgery let alone major surgery and I was terrified.

They got me set up and then wheeled me down the hall. Joe had to change and get prepped before coming in so I was alone while they put me on the table and the spinal was administered to me. I was shaking like a leaf and my pulse was running away with me. When they finally brought Joe in they told him he needed to calm me down asap before I went into shock or something. I really was kind of losing it, I was crying and so frightened without anyone to help me focus. When Joe sat down next to my head and looked me in the eye, I calmed down immediately.

He talked to me while they began cutting... what an eerie thought right? Being awake while they cut into your abdomen to retrieve your baby. Every bit of that sentence sounds backwards and just plain wrong. It took about 5 minutes and then I heard the most beautiful sound in the entire world...

My baby crying.



Up until that point I was selfish and afraid and just losing my mind. But when I heard her cry I snapped out of it. I was a mama.

I heard them remarking on how big she was, and then I heard her apgar scores being said and written down- 8 at 1 minute, 9 at 5 minutes.

Joe had left my side at this point to take pictures and to walk over and see her. They brought her to me, to hear my heartbeat and so that I could kiss her. She was bleating like a little lamb, a sort of lazy cry. Kind of like she had cried so hard when she came out that now she was tired.

Joe went with them to weigh her and clean her up. It was a torturous 30 minutes before they wheeled me back into the room. I was able to feed her right off when I got to hold her, within the first hour of her birth. I just couldn't stop staring at her. She is, to this day, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Being that I don't want to ever re-live that hospital stay experience, I'll just say the first few nights were rough because I couldn't get any sleep and was confined to a bed for 24 hours (Joe is a saint and changed all of her diapers!). But Joe couldn't get any sleep because they have no bed for the dads and the pull out couch was horrid and bent in the middle. I ended up leaving the hospital a day early telling the nurse practitioner if she didn't clear me I would leave AMA because my marriage was suffering (lol).

Finally, I made it home by Tuesday afternoon and all was well with the world because my mom was here to help the first few days. Thank God for my mama and that amazing man I'm married to.

All in all, I have a beautiful healthy baby girl and a wonderful husband, our little family has finally begun and I couldn't feel more blessed!

May 23, 2010 Our lives changed forever!

Audra Marie was born 9lbs 5oz and 20.5in at 3:31pm on Sunday May 23rd. She's a beautiful and healthy little girl, we couldn't be more happy or feel more blessed!

39 Weeks and 2 Days

Hey Everyone!

Today marks 39 weeks and 2 days, and at 10am this morning we had our doctor's appointment. Dr. Austin ordered an ultrasound to see how big she is and how her fluid was and all that. Audra is said to be measuring about 8lbs and 8oz, a super healthy baby girl and apparently very comfortable where she is!

Yes of course, we couldn't resist, we made the ultrasound tech check and make sure she's still a girl lol. We also got to see her suck her fingers, she looked very hungry or something because she was trying to shove absolutely ALL of her fingers in her mouth!





As for her progress, I'm only about 2 cm dilated and still not quite ready so we're going for our 40 weeks appointment Wednesday the 25th. It's weird to think that 5 years ago on that specific date I was graduating high school. Scary.

Anyhow, at that point I'll be 40 weeks and 2 days so if she's still not making any real movement they're throwing around the idea of induction. I think he's concerned I'm going to end up with a shoulder baby like my mom did.... but either way God has a plan and this baby is coming out one way or another! lol

Lately I've pretty much had cabin fever, I am not able to get behind the wheel of a car anymore and even if I wanted I couldn't. Joe's car is in the shop, something about an oil pan and an obscene amount of money it's going to cost to fix it. The price for driving a sport luxury vehicle I suppose. Either way, he's taken possession of my matrix to drive to work which is fine... it just makes me feel a bit more stranded even though I know it doesn't matter either way. So tomorrow hopefully his car will be finished and my car can go back to sitting in the garage, useless and un-driven.

Friday is a cook out for Joe's brigade, which is a nice change of pace and excuse to get out and talk to people, however these things tend to be less stimulating for me than other people's company. For some reason I just haven't been able to connect with any of the other wives in this unit, except for Brandy and Margaret. Officially however, Brandy's husband is no longer activated and Margaret often works different hours and doesn't make it to these functions. We probably won't stay long however because it's going to be so hot and I'm already tired all of the time! I do like getting to talk to the people Joe works with though because they always have such nice things to say about him and it's cool to see him in a different light, the way other people see him. Because of course I think he's an amazing and excellent soldier, but to hear other people agree with me in an unbiased manner is always nice too.

Saturday is the day of family, when my parents and siblings are supposed to roll in. My mom is so concerned about overloading me, she's worried about stressing me out by staying too long. She's always worried about one of us though, and out of four people I suppose I've gotten more worry than the rest because of my pregnancy recently. It doesn't bother me that they'll be here though, I love having my family around for random bits of time. It's always nice to be around the familiar, to playingly bicker and holler at my siblings for random reasons. There's something different about the way family makes you laugh too though, because no one knows you better or knows how much of a screw up you are and still thinks you're awesome. Ok maybe my husband does, but technically he's part of my family now too!

That's all for now, hopefully Audra will come to the world soon and I'll have more exciting news to post soon!

Love and hugs

I forgot...

... to blog about Mother's Day. I absolutely feel compelled to share with everyone that when I woke up on Sunday, I had roses and an adorable card waiting for me from my husband (who also, for the first time in a decade let me sleep in... it usually offends his sensibilities lol). Then we finally ran the much needed and super expensive errands of picking up what we need for the hospital bags, I didn't realize how much I'm going to need after Audra is born. There's so much I have to do to take care of my own health as well as hers! After exchanging a few things from the baby shower (the last few things) and picking up the diaper warmer and something else I can't remember... that's terrible... anyways after that we were invited to dinner at the Eoute's and of course it was delicious! My brother Kevin had spent the weekend with their son Tyler, whose dad works with Joe. They had a blast, and hopefully they'll get to hang out again some time soon. We sent out the Mother's day cards to our mothers and grandmother a bit late because somebody kept forgetting to sign them on his way out the front door (lol). Hopefully they got there quickly enough though because we really love and appreciate our mothers and grandmother <3 You all truly are a blessing to us!

Love and Hugs

38 Week Doctor's Appointment...

At 38 weeks and 2 days, I'm only abou 1 cm dilated. The doctor says Audra is measuring a little big so next week we're going to do an ultrasound and see how she's measuring. He said if I make it to 2 cm dilated next week he'll strip my membranes to get things moving along in a natural manner, but that he's concerned and not entirely convinced she's coming out on her own. He discussed possibly inducing me at about 41 weeks and 3 days because of her size and because sometimes first babies are stubborn and like to stay cozy for a while. I'm not going to worry about it, because I am so afraid of pitocin and I've made a commitment to myself and Audra to do this without pain medication or an epidural, so I'm just going to look forward to seeing my beautiful little girl next Tuesday. That's all for now, so no one needs to be worried about getting a phone call in middle of the night, it doesn't look like she's making her appearance anytime soon! More news next Tuesday.


Love and Hugs!